“Is this the right thing to do? Am I a bad mother?” – Those thoughts had haunted Hy’s mind for years when she decided to take her daughter out of the violent hands of her husband. As a child, Hy always felt like a black sheep in her family because she was the only one who was diagnosed with a chronic skin condition; vitiligo. Having an abnormal appearance comes with a bit of hardship, the white mark on her skin was used as a plausible reason for bad things to happen to Hy.
“It was too good for me to have someone married to me. It was fine when he beat me. It was fine when he threatened me. It was fine. It was okay”. Then, all the pain became numb as she kept telling herself this.
However, the real heart ache came when she realized her daughter was in danger. At that moment, she knew she had to keep her child safe. Through safe accommodation in Hanoi, Hy was connected with Hagar. As soon as she entered the program, she and her daughter were provided a safe place to stay and medical treatment for unrecovered injuries. Hagar understood that the physical wounds were the tip of the iceberg and she would never recover if the real pain inside her had not healed. With several counselling sessions, Hy has taken steps to self-love and to embrace her natural beauty.
“I used to think that it was my fault when my husband did bad things to me and I deserved that. I am not a good wife or a good daughter to my family when I ran away from him. However, most importantly, I could not give my daughter a whole family like others. Therefore, when I came to Hagar, above from other support we received, Hagar helped me find a priceless hidden treasure that was self-confidence and self-embracing. I understand that domestic violence can happen to anyone and I am not the only case. There is no right reason for him or anyone else to hurt me. I will never be the one to blame for what happened to me.”
To get the best picture of Hy at present, “influence” might be the right word to use. Since 2015, Hy has always been an active client who participates in Hagar’s life-skill activities frequently. Hy has re-entered our program lately due to the impact of COVID-19. The pandemic affected her current job and she lost her income in a few months. With nutrient support from Hagar, she and her daughter have overcome the most difficult time. Hy’s life is more independent and happier than ever. At the age of 40, she started studying English along with oriental medicine. Now, she does not mind talking about her past and feels brave to raise her voice through Hagar’s portrait photography campaign.
Hagar pursues the highest degree of care and protection for each of its clients. To protect the identity of our clients, names have been changed and images do not necessarily represent the individual profiled.
Help us transform lives
Donate now
By partnering with Hagar, you’re supporting survivors to heal from the trauma of severe abuse. Our work is dependent on charitable giving by people like you.
Help us transform lives
Donate now
By partnering with Hagar, you’re supporting survivors to heal from the trauma of severe abuse. Our work is dependent on charitable giving by people like you.
Help us transform lives
Donate now
By partnering with Hagar, you’re supporting survivors to heal from the trauma of severe abuse. Our work is dependent on charitable giving by people like you.
Help us transform lives
Donate now
By partnering with Hagar, you’re supporting survivors to heal from the trauma of severe abuse. Our work is dependent on charitable giving by people like you.