Phari and Nov Lin’s Story

Phari is a member of The Good Husband group in the Battambang Province. This experience has completely transform his relationship with his family and community.

After losing his land and spending over six years in prison, Phari was struck with blindness. His trauma made him feel the world was dark and his life hopeless so he became angry and took out his anger on his wife and children. He also started drinking and smoking heavily. Whenever he drank he verbally and physically abused his wife and children, not realising how it impacted them.

In September 2020, his wife Nov Lin joined the Good Wives Group. She tried to persuade Phari to join the Good Husbands group but he declined, thinking it was crazy and a waste of time. However, Nov Lin persisted to encourage him to attend at least one meeting and listen to the group discussion. After refusing twice, he finally agreed to attend in October 2020.

After the first meeting he decided to continue attending as he saw the value of encouragement and support. He also felt that the team members valued him and did not discriminate against him as a disabled person. Everyone supported one another and shared knowledge about being a good husband and parent. Additionally, he was able to express what was on his mind in a way he had never had the chance to before.

Phari now feels motivated and has completely changed his attitude toward his family and community. “Before I joined the Good Husband group, all I knew was to use violence to educate my children. My understanding was that when children are scared, they will follow instructions so I scared them so they would listen to me. I now deeply understand the concepts of child protection, especially community development and prevention activities. I am much different from before. All of my team members motivate me, and every month we share and discuss positive ideas about how to raise children, a commitment to helping solve community problems,” he said.

During training in December 2021, Phari expressed the importance of teaching these skills to the next generation.

“I am old now, but the new generation is not over. Community development is important and all I can do is contribute to building a community that is safe for them and try as hard as I can as a volunteer to teach them with my wife. My dream is to see children safe and protected through individual contributions,” he said

Nov Lin has also noticed and benefitted from how much the group has changed him.

“I feel like he is a new person. He is very different because he does not commit domestic violence and is humble in my family. I was surprised when he encouraged me to teach children in my community when he never cared before,” she said.